New Zealand Gold Prospecting & Metal Detecting Forums Archive

Hi there Poohbear. Thats a lot of posts you have there, nice one. I dont recall seeing more than 1500 posts anywhere, you may have the most.
Whats bigger than a GOLD ingot, not sure.

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Apparently the prize is a Minelab GPX 5000 Chris!

You had better take a fortnight off work to see if you can catch up on anyone who has more than you! It doenst matter if you dont know anything about the topic - just make it up like I do but write it using authoritative words and jargon and everyone will be convinced that what is said is true!

In that manner you might get quickly to the 1500 post!

Edited by user Thursday, 16 May 2013 9:55:49 PM(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

According to the member search page http://www.paydirt.co.nz...f_members.aspx?g=members Lammerlaw is our most proficient poster at 1594. He's way head of the NZPoohbear40 who is the next highest one at 1322. Creamer is the only other one who has passed the magic 1000 mark.

I guess we talk too much and thats got to be a good thing.

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Yeah - it's kinda strange how as women's language gets dirtier their actual sexuality decreases, but perhaps the opposite is true too, as the dirty language decreases the chances might be better? I'm often told to F.. off - get F...d and F... you is a common one too, but I get very little help or encouragement to achieve any of those objectives. I'll have to try this theory out, see if I can get some dirty behaviour happening when the language is clean.
It could be just an age thing I suppose - as I have found that as I get older I'm saying that I can't be F...ed a lot, which isn't totally true, but perhaps by me saying it so often, has made it true in reality! A self fulfilling prophecy maybe?
Or perhaps when she tells me it's time I mowed the F..ing lawns and I as normal reply - I can't be F...ed - I could just add the word "apparently" to the end of the sentence. I doubt she would get it though, she just is not a subtle person.

Mate, just tell her you are a sexual athlete - and you always finish first.

That is really funny, and interesting and fairly revealing too.
I'm not with the woman I married any more, but this one may well be a clone. Prudish, Anglican and from a churchy family too. Not sure how they get away with all the swearing either. My mother was a similar churchy sort though, and when I asked why she swore, she said I would make a saint swear. When I said I didn't think Anglicans had saints I was told to F... off.
When my new woman and I first got together there was no swearing and lots of sex, now just the reverse. I will however possibly get the last laugh, as my prostate is apparently on it's way out, and I guarantee that when "The Bald Explorer" is no longer available for duty she will probably rediscover the desire, as she normally only wants what she can't have.
I won't care as long as I lose the urge along with the ability.

Funny that as my mother always said to me that I would make a Saint swear as well.

Actually I remember the first time I ever heard the 'F' word - it was a marvellous new word and so I decided to use it at the dinner table that night
in the appropriate part of a sentence to prove to all and sundry that my grasp of the English language was improving. I cant rememebr what the sentence was but presume that it was something like "What are we having for F***ing pudding mum?" or "Can I F*** you mum?" - In any case my old man went spastic, he went totally Ape shit, ballistic. He was waving his arms around like a tormented Orangutang with a red hot con rod up its arse. He was belting hell out of me and screamed at me to look it up in the dictionary and read aloud what it meant!

As for mum - she was naive and she was saying "Whats wrong with what the boy said? What does it mean? Why are you hitting him? Stop behaving like that? I dont know what it means either - what DOES it mean - tell me what it means?"

That only made the old man worse - he was totally demented and frothing at the cake hole. As for the word - rest assured that the only thing I found out that night is 1) It was not in the Common Oxford Dictionary 2) I got a hell of a hiding for saying it 3) I caused a matrimonial domestic disturbance between mum and dad all because of 'F' 4) Life was never the same again.

Using this word also had cause for another disturbance a month or so later when Dad and my Uncle took us fishing and the old man was pulling a dog fish up the side of a cliff when a Shag (bird - not the Shags related to F***) flew into the line and got caught. When dad got the shag up to the top of the cliff it glared at dad with bloodshot eyes and a tormented look then promptly took to him pecking him in the leg - the funny thing was the old man dancing on the edge of the cliff trying to kick the Shag to Purgatory...but the thing that ruined the day was the fact that he screamed out - need I say?

I yelled at him "You smacked me for saying that word - your unfair - your one of those Hippo crittens - I'm telling mum on you" - the remainder of the day was a fairly traumatic experience for me - another hiding - and all because of a Shag and one simple "F***!"

Getting older isnt good and so its thank god for the little blue pill - when the stage looks set for a bit of dueling with the pork sword you pop a quarter of one of those pills as an Insurance then off to the room of delights - bedroom - to find that Little Miss Sexless is not in the least interested and that reading Mills and Boon are a far better bet or more likely 'Torture Techniques of the Spanish Inquisition' 'The Knights of Bushido' or 'Practical Steps to Arranging your own Divorce'

Yes as long as I have the urge and the ability then all will be good but I also need someone to do it with.

Edited by user Friday, 17 May 2013 6:06:42 PM(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

I'm sure that my partners whole family have a genetic condition that represses their sense of humour. I was at her sisters place sitting around for a lunchtime backyard barby, when I noticed a number of ducks, cormorants and seagulls flying about. I said to the missus - I could catch one of those ducks for you, you could have it for a pet Honey. A sarcastic - no thanks, was the reply. Well would you like a seagull then, I asked - they are a bit noisy and messy, but you could have one of them for a pet - no way she said. So quick as a flash I asked - well how about a shag then. Total silence. There were a few of her other rele's that heard it but not a peep not even a squeak. I laughed myself silly, as much for the lemon sucking face she pulled at me, as the joke I had just thought up.